How to grocery shop with an infant

Step 1: Rock baby to sleep

Step 2: Make grocery list (quickly since they don't sleep forever) and gather coupons.

Step 3: Feed baby who just woke up & change diaper.

Step 4: Put baby in car seat and give pacifier (because we all know how much babies hate the car seat).

Step 5: Take baby out of car seat to change his diaper again.

Step 6: Rock baby in car seat to stop his crying so you can put your shoes on, get a bottle of water and grab your wallet/purse.

Step 7: Wipe puke from baby's mouth.

Step 8: Drive to grocery store praying that you don't hit every red light on the way. Secondary prayer is that baby is asleep when you get to the store.

Step 9: Get baby in Moby Wrap as fast, but gently, as possible to get baby to sleep.

Step 10: Run through the grocery store grabbing what you can and forgetting about the grocery list and anything on the bottom shelves (you don't want to wake the baby).

Step 11: Let the older ladies gawk at baby to get help pulling groceries out of cart at check-out.

Step 12: Drive home and put groceries away with screaming baby.

Step 13: Feed baby again. Change diaper again.

Step 14: Ask husband to pick up groceries on the list you forgot and/or couldn't find.