When it rains, it pours .. and blizzards .. and floods .. and sleets ..

Lately I've been feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I'm so tired.

As I mentioned in the last post, our water heater took a hike. I still remember hearing the sound of the garbage men loading it onto the truck from the hot, steaming shower I was taking (and had been deprived of for so long, apparently). 

As I was driving Brad's truck home today it decided to give me an error message it's never done before. "Check charging system." Remember the red ring of death (X-Box reference)? Yup, this is your car's version of that. Okay, maybe I'm being overly dramatic, but it still means that the guy at Auto Zone said we need a new alternator and my dad wants us to stop driving it ASAP.  

Fun Fact of the Day: We just paid thousands to have the transmission rebuilt, too.

Some days I feel like I'm barely surviving. You know when you buy a new house and things are pretty much all in working order? (I mean, you had an inspection and made them fix it, right?!) Then stuff breaks or wears out. You don't have time to re-stain the fence. Or the money to tune up the furnace. Or pull that tree the storm took out. Or remember to get your oil change you don't have time to wait on. The "To Do" list continues to grow exponentially. It just all happens at once. 

I barely have two weeks left of school and I seem to be working a ton, Brad just had surgery today, Cam is sick and running a fever (so day care won't take him), and I've hardly touched my study material. It all happens at once. 

I feel like I'm barely surviving and not because I'm not trying, but because I feel like I've taken on too much. Sometimes I think it's because I expect too much of myself. I want to be with Camden all the time. I need to study every hour of the day I'm not working. I feel such guilt whenever I want to spend an hour or two cuddling my baby watching a movie instead of studying; but then I feel guilty studying and not being with him. I have guilt because I'm so exhausted at the end of the day I'd rather throw my contacts away than put them in a contact case and I'm too lazy to take my bra off. (Under-wire's hurt, guys.) Then again, I have guilt for sleeping only 4 hours a night and not respecting myself enough to get adequate sleep; or nutrition; or water. 

This isn't the way I wanted to lose weight.

I do thank God for my health and family. I know that just about everything I am stressed about, I brought upon myself. I didn't purposely break the water heater or Brad's truck, but I did choose this career path. I can't choose what happens to me next in life, but I can certainly choose how I react to it.  

I need to learn to live in the now. I can't dwell on the bad test grade I got; only learn from it and move on. What would it change if I got upset and moped over a bad grade, horrible clinical instructor, didactic professor that ignores my emails, and coworkers that insult me? Nothing. That's exactly what it would change. So that's exactly what it should mean to me.

Nothing that happens to you is worth your life. Make your life matter. Make it better.

Fam updates

Summer has officially come to an end. 

It ended on a difficult note. Brad ended up in the ER one day for what turned out to be a 2-foot-long blood clot. Yes, you read that right. I freaked out and the ER doc put him on a strong anticoagulant medicine. He unfortunately wasn't allowed to finish out his baseball season; his last baseball season (so he says). 

And they won the championship...

After a few weeks I finally convinced him to see a vein specialist. He told Brad that the ER doc was overreacting and that it's not a big deal. (NOT A BIG DEAL?) He has to wear compression stockings ..

(moment to laugh at that, since I work in Orthopedics)

.. for about 6 weeks and then can have surgery on the affected vein. Between Camden's broken leg, ENT appointments, my gall bladder surgery, and this, we've definitely met our deductible so I'm glad it's being taken care of this year at least.

As for school, I'm finishing up a rough and busy semester on Friday. One. More. Final. Then I am going to do nothing but relax and enjoy the fall weather and my family this weekend. My next courses do not open up until Monday so I can't even print things or see what the next 8 weeks look like so I don't want to know. ;-)

I'm excited to go from two clinicals a week to one, but I am also starting part-time at work (mainly for benefits) so I will be even more busy than before. I wanted to get used to working more as well as get the benefits my hospital provides since they are way better and affordable than my husband's. If we do the premium plans for all (medical, dental, and vision) plans with my company, it's less than the cheapest and highest deductible plan with Brad's. I consider that a HUGE advantage!

Also, I found a GREAT baked french toast recipe that is easy, quick, and uses regular sandwich bread! YEAH!

The Medical Adventures of Our Family

 

About a month ago we decided to go visit Aunt Rachael so that she could visit with Camden before she trekked out of the country for her graduate work. Unfortunately that trip was cut short when Camden broke his leg. This is his story.

 

We decided to meet at Bremin Park in Terre Haute. It was a huge park with a smaller kids play area and a larger play area as well. Cam, Brad, and I were all having fun playing and of course I was taking lots of pictures.

 

Rachael and her boyfriend showed up and got in a few snuggles and then let him run around the play ground a bit before we headed to lunch. Since Cam usually loves slides so much I wanted to take him down a big one so we climbed to the tallest one and I set him on my lap.

 

On the way down, the bottom of his shoe caught on the side of the slide. I didn't think anything of it and just put his feet in the middle of my legs and we continued down the slide.

 

Cue the screams.

 

I thought he was scared at first since it was such a big slide. Poor guy! We tried to go to lunch but that didn't work out. I had a bad feeling so I tried putting him down on the ground to stand up and he wouldn't put his foot on the ground at all. Time to head home.

 

 

We headed to my moms house because he was calm and slept the whole way home. As soon as he woke up and we took him out of the car seat, it was screams all over again. I made a decision that it was time to go to the Emergency Department. ASAP!

 

They took an X-ray of his little leg and of course it was broken so they put a splint on for the weekend. That following Monday we saw a pediatric orthopedic specialist and they gave him a cool big-kid red cast.

 

Once it was casted, he was in much less pain and more mobile (crawling and scooting).

 

 

.. but that's not all ..

 

 

We went to a birthday party for Brad's best friend who has a son that was turning 3. I tried to take care of Cam because Brad hadn't seen his friends in a long time and I wanted them to visit.

 

My stomache was killing me that day. I thought it was the cake or candy or junk food I'd eaten at the party.

 

We went back to Brad's mom's place and she and Brad went out to the pond to feed the fish with Cam. Regardless of how awful I felt, I was determined to get some photos. :) 

 

 

And I did.

 

 

About an hour after that, Brad came back inside to me curled in the fetal position crying/screaming in back pain. He asked if we should go to the ED and I said yes.

 

Long story short, I got 6 needle sticks trying to get IV's started and blood drawn, a CT scan, and an US later ... I had gall stones. I had another attack as soon as we left the hospital too.

 

Gall stones are THE most painful thing I've ever experienced. Topping child birth, labor, and being in a car accident where I broke my leg. Painful.

 

So this past Friday morning I had laproscopic surgery to remove my gall bladder.

 

I'm still in pain but I know in the long run I won't be waiting around for that next gall stone attack. Now it's just time to get planning a super party for my best super hero Camden!

Milestones - November 2011

I haven't updated on Cam's weight recently because, well, there hasn't been any change. I'm taking him to see the pediatrician tomorrow and see if there is anything we need to do on our part. He isn't hungry, my supply is great, he sleeps through the night, and is hitting his milestones early or on time. There is really no reason I need to take him other than not gaining weight. Sometimes I think it'd be easier to just not weigh him each week at the BFing group...

Speaking of milestones..

Camden has started grabbing his feet, which is the most adorable thing ever (besides his laugh, of course)! He is also rolling completely on his own whenever he wants to do so. Just today, he started "scooching" on his belly. He actually gets his knees curled up underneath his belly and kicks/propels himself forward! It's so amazing to watch him grow up although it does go by quickly.

Immunize Me

For the past week I've been dreading taking Camden to his first doctor's visit where he has to get a lot of shots. I've heard that babies tend to get fever, feed more, cry more, fuss more. I'll be honest when I tell you that I really needed Brad there; for me and for Cam.



Two of his three boo-boo's. =(

All went well at his two-month checkup yesterday. He was 50th percentile for head size and weight. He was 75th percentile (no surprise there) for height. He was 12lbs, 2 oz and 23 3/8 inches!! Way to go big boy!!

I'm so proud of the way he's been feeding, sleeping, and his demeanor. I feel like the luckiest mom in the world! He did cry when he got his three shots, but quickly fell asleep and has been great so far (knock on wood). :) I just hope that he doesn't sleep the day away and stay up all night.